Why is SEX the last thing on my mind? Could it be my hormones?
Did you know that STRESS is one of the biggest disruptors of ovulation, which affects fertility, libido and lubrication? If you're too stressed and you're not ovulating, there's a good chance your libido is also shot, meaning that sex is literally last on your "to-do" list. And if you're not lubricated, chances are it's also uncomfortable and even painful!
Let's Talk About Sex!
High Stress = Low Sex Drive
We work with A LOT of women who say they love their partners and find them attractive, yet the last thing they feel like doing is having sex! Stress can be both good and bad, physical and emotional. A wedding or birthday are examples of positive stressors while going through a divorce or getting stuck in traffic are usually negative. There are not so obvious stressors like over-exercising, environmental toxins & a diet filled with sugars and processed foods. On a biological level, our bodies don't know the difference between positive and negative stress so it's important that we focus on minimizing the negatives so we can feel more confident in our own skin and be more present in the bedroom!
Chronic stress can cause erratic cortisol levels, which can lower your libido and throw your menstrual cycle out of whack. Stress even makes it harder to orgasm and can prevent a person from climaxing at all. It can also disrupt ovulation which leads to inadequate progesterone levels, essential for a healthy pregnancy. When we're not producing adequate levels of progesterone, we become estrogen dominant which leads to a whole slew of unpleasant side effects like mood swings, heavy, painful periods, sore tender breasts and weight gain.
Healthy Fats & Healthy Sex Drive
There are certain foods that feed your hormones, fertility and libido. Your ovaries need good fats and proteins to produce hormones in optimal amounts. Focus on delicious anti-inflammatory variations like avocado, wild-caught salmon, extra virgin olive oil, nuts and seeds. The backbone of all steroid hormones is cholesterol aka FAT so if you're on a low-fat or low-calorie diet, you may find that your libido has gone missing along with the lubrication necessary for sexual pleasure. Simply adding in omega 3 fats and hormone-free proteins can make a difference!
How to Stay Present for Sex
Slow Down - Put aside a window of time where you disconnect from all electronics and explore self-care. Start training the people in your life to understand that you’re not always available, which goes a long way towards calming your nervous system.
Connect with yourself and/or your partner by dimming the lights, taking baths, going out for walks, playing with your kids etc. Unplugging really opens up a window of time that is yours alone! You can also experiment with a product like FORIA CBD's Awaken, the world's first intimate massage oil made with broad-spectrum CBD and synergistic botanical & aromatic oils. This multi-aphrodisiac blend is formulated for women, to enhance tactile sensation & pleasure while decreasing tension, discomfort and dryness. Or you could try FORIA's Intimacy Suppositories designed to enhance pleasure, penetration, and pelvic relaxation (use code "YOURHORMONEBALANCE" for 10% off Foria products).
Practice Being Present We often don't allow time for sex and are rushing through it which means we are less likely to get turned on or lubricated. It's easy to say we don’t have time but it’s a matter of prioritizing sex and your relationship. If you feel your relationship is lacking in this department, find ways to slow things down and reconnect.
Prioritize Self-Care When we're stressed, it can be challenging to even want to date or be intimate which is why self-care is crucial. Ask yourself, what are my sexual needs and wants? If you’re having trouble figuring out why you're disconnected sexually, focus on yourself for a while. Spend time honing in on those desires whether it means using sex toys or simply writing down your needs and wants and figuring out how to communicate them first with yourself and then with your partner.
Set Boundaries You can easily forget to slow down when you love what you do, but it's so important to still set boundaries. When the overwhelm starts to take hold, practice stepping back and figuring out what's got to give. Take a look at your career and social calendar and choose a few places where you can dial back. It may feel challenging in the moment but your happiness & your sex life will thank you for it!
Think about how you can incorporate some of these practices into your life on a daily and weekly basis and schedule them into your routine just as you would any other commitment.
You are worth it and so are your hormones!